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| Photo from www.recoveringyou.com |
“None of us knows what might happen even in the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we TRUST. Because we have Faith.”
---Paulo Coelho's Brida
The onset of the electronics age has caused more and more couples to experience trust issues at least one time or another. It seems that people are always on their cell phones either talking, texting, uploading pictures on Instagram, or updating their statuses on Facebook, Twitter or some other form of social media.
People can follow others' moves and find out where they've been, what they're doing and where they plan to be later in the day. This might be a great way to keep in touch with friends who live far away but it opens a new can of worms for those who are committed to another person. Here are some tips, you can overcome any trust issues that you are experiencing due to the electronic revolution.
Stop the Spying
There are a lot of people who are tempted to spy on their mates and forget about the fact that trust in a relationship is essential to its survival. You must forego any spying on your mate. This can be difficult for some people to do. You have to understand that trusting your partner is more important than spying on them. Understanding your partner is an important part of effective communication in relationships. Only when you can see your partner for who he or she really is, without projecting any of your past experiences onto him or her, will your relationship be successful.
Improving Your Communication Skills
The core of good communication skills in relationships is active listening. By using active listening skills you make sure that you really understand what your partner conveys. Often people don't listen. They either don't pay attention to what the other is saying, or they think they know what the other person 'really' means. It's also important to be mindful of your body language. Are you open and inviting, or closed and distant? Very effective is also to make "I" statement. It improves intimacy and ensures clean communication.
Consider the Facts
You really need to get to the root of why you have trust issues. It is important to figure out whether your partner has given you reasons to think that are being unfaithful or if you are simply a jealous person. More often than not, it turns out to be that one of the people in the relationship has a jealous personality. Constant communication helps you overcome being jealous of your mate's friends and coworkers.
In the event that your suspicions are justified, you must have a discussion with your partner. Being open about why you feel that he or she is cheating is the best way to get through any trust issues. Taking time to understand that your partner is also battling his/her own battle each day could help both see and build a stronger bond and find trust in a relationship more tightly.
Learning to Trust
Both people in a committed relationship need to be able to trust the other person. Being secretive can create tension as well as escalate trust problems. An important piece of relationship tip is to always communicate openly and honestly. Secrets are never a good idea unless you are planning a special surprise party or the like. In the contrary, one has to learn how to listen reasons why the partner had done something in secrecy. One has to consider as well that white lies at times are helpful in strengthening the relationship.
Building Your Bond
Relationships need to be nurtured and grown if they are going to be lasting. Building trust in a relationship is a great start. This will help you to grow a healthy and happy relationship without trust issues.
Managing Conflicts
No matter how close partners are, there will be a time when conflict enters the relationship. This happens even with the best matched partners. This has to do with the different needs, perspectives, histories, upbringing and different levels of awareness each partner has at any given time. A powerful strategy for managing conflict is the 'connecting dialogue', a non-violent communication strategy. It involves:
1. describing the problem you observe in non-judgemental language,
2. expressing how you feel about it,
3. stating what you need instead, and
4. telling your partner in specific terms what behaviour you would like to see instead.
Never leave the conflict hanging. Do not let the day/night slip and past without even trying to solve the "conflict".
Finding Your Way Back Into Love
When things are back to normal, never try to bring back past issues. Live what is at hand to cherish. And never plant grudges to your partner. After everything had been talked, love each other as if nothing had happened. To avoid the relationship becoming boring and run down, both partners
need to continuously inject new life, new ideas, and new pleasures into
the partnership . It involves having regular slots during
each day in which you and your partner commit to doing 'relationship
work', i.e. show your partner that you appreciate him/her, share
something of your daily life, show an interest in your partner, share
you wishes, hope, and dreams with your partner. You can keep romance in
your relationship by surprising your partner with a romantic date or an
exciting outing or just by avoiding the "just routines".
A successful relationship based on "my way" is a dictatorship and as such,
is doomed to fail. Relationships can only work by developing "our way",
and both partners have to work hard on achieving this. Developing "our
way" and having a successful relationship has to be based connecting
rather than on being right. It is and will always be a two-way process. Giving and taking, listening and talking and above all, forgiving and forgetting. Couple should not always leave behind the important lessons they'll be able to gain. No sooner such lessons will help both grow in a way that they always find themselves together. :)
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