That's how I'd like to begin.
To blogging I put a pause, and probably had thought of officially ending this hobby especially during the months I got pregnant and had given birth to my beautiful and greatest blessing, Baby Ava. I resorted to normally just writing down all the thoughts I had and had a journal, yet I am drawn back here.
That means something right?
There's just something about blogging that makes me experience pure bliss, from looking up the ceiling while organizing my thoughts to the rapid movement of my fingers as I type what has been given birth in my mind. It simply makes me celebrate life as I am at my most solitude time of the day. Why should I stop?
Let me put it this way. It's kind of like an exercise. Every time I start I can't even fathom how amazing it truly is. Can't even find the perfect word to describe it. Amazing I guess is just but a mere understatement. But, it takes sooooooo much time and effort. And when the situation arises, you know having mom-guilt apart from so much school works, I feel forced to cut the "non-essentials" , and that is , my friend, two of the many reasons I get to the point of not blogging, and, similarly not exercising. :(
Since I became a mother, I have often encountered and read lots of articles pertaining to "self-care" and stuffs related to such. It would be such a great lie to say it is not something I struggled with. However, a quote I happen to randomly read resonates within me says, "You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first."
My Litol Ava is turning 5 months this month, and I am still struggling to adhere to any kind of routine for myself. Showering, fixing my hair, getting dressed, putting on my make up among other "self-care" activities, often fall to the wayside as I attend to her needs. I know there has to be a way to have both, but I haven't found the perfect time-management recipe just yet. Feels like I have to do some great looking to finally find such equilibrium.
Nevertheless, I figure I've just got to keep trying. For if I keep these things at the forefront of my mind, eventually I will be able to perfectly figure it out, right? I will just have to say that the experience of becoming a mother has heightened even more the respect I have to parents who happen to have it all together (and parents who have not it all together). Taking care of a human being, much more raising your very own child is one toughest job I ever have! ahhahah!
And right now, all I'm doing is the best I can. And that, I think, is enough. :)
,Cee Brensan
