Bookish Mardi : Nicholas Sparks' "The Wedding"

"Is it possible, I wonder, for a man to truly change? or do character and habit from the immovable boundaries of our lives? 

- Wilson Lewis

 After thirty years of marriage, Wilson Lewis, son-in-law of Allie and Noah Calhoun (of The Notebook), is forced to admit that the romance has gone out of his marriage. Desperate to win back his wife, Jane’s, heart, he must figure out how to make her fall in love with him… again. Despite the shining example of Allie and Noah’s marriage, Wilson is himself a man unable to easily express his emotions. A successful estate attorney, he has provided well for his family, but now, with his daughter’s upcoming wedding, he is forced to face the fact that he and Jane have grown apart and he wonders if she even loves him anymore. Wilson is sure of one thing—his love for his wife has only deepened and intensified over the years. Now, with the memories of his in-laws’ magnificent fifty-year love affair as his guide, Wilson struggles to find his way back into the heart of the woman he adores.

Remarkable Lines from the Book 

"In the course of my marriage, I've been selfish and stubborn and as arrogant as a goldfish, and it pains me to realize this about myself." - Wilson

"All marriages go through ups and downs, and I believe this is the natural consequence of couples that choose to stay together over the long haul." - Wilson 

". . .events create their own stresses, and when two people live together, the stress flows both ways. This I've come to believe, is both the BLESSING and the CURSE of marriage. It's a blessing because there's an utlet for the everyday strains of life; it's a curse because the outlet is someone you can deeply you care about." - Wilson

"We're different in almost every way, and though opposites do attract, I've always felt that I made a better choice on our wedding day." - Wilson

""What are we after all, without our memories, without our dreams?" - Wilson

 Noah: Do you know what I remember most about the good days?

Wilson: No.

Noah: "Falling in love."

"Every time I read to her, it was like I was courting her, because sometimes, just sometimes, she would fall in love with me again, just like she had a long time ago. And that's the most wonderful feeling in the world.  How many people are given that chance? To have someone you love fall in love with you over and over? - Noah

"The experts' advice on improving a marriage? To focus on the four As - attention, appreciation, affection, and attraction." - Wilson

"I've come to believe that the children live for the satisfaction of surprising their parents." - Wilson

"There's a common lament that the first year of marriage is the hardest.Then of course, there is a fact that having a child transforms the basic marriage relationship. No longer are you simply husband and wife, you are mother and father as well, and all spontaneity vanishes immediately." - Wilson

"When people ask me what it's like to be a parent, I say it' among the hardest things you'll ever do, but in exchange, it teaches you the meaning of  unconditional love. Every thing a baby does strikes a parent as the most magical thing he or she has ever seen." - Wilson

"One of the moments a mother looks most forward to in life is when a daughter gets married." - Wilson

"Frugality, I've learned has its own cost, one that sometimes lasts forever." - Wilson

"Love was the most powerful force on earth." - Noah

Wilson: Was it hard for you and Allie after all the kids had moved out?

Noah: I don't think if the word was hard, but it was different.

Wilson: Noah, I understand women.

Noah: The point is, there's no man alive who can honestly say  those words and mean them. It just isn't possible, so there's no use trying. But that love doesn't mean you can't love them anyway. And it doesn't mean that you should stop doing your best to let them know how important they are to you.

"But love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." - Wilson

"Hopes, even in small ones, were always wrenching." - Wilson

"When a couple hold hands, it either feels right or doesn't.  I suppose this has to do with the intertwining of fingers and the proper placement of the thumb." - Wilson

"I wasn't nervous about my studies, I was scared about losing you. You started teaching in  New Bern, remember? I just knew some dashing gentleman was going to swoop and steal you away." - Wilson

"Marriage is about compromise; it's about doing something for the other person, even when you don't want to." - Wilson

"Nobody knows anything." - Kate

"A man still needs his dignity." - Noah

"Allie. She found a way to come back to me, just like she promised she would. All I had to do was find her." - Noah

"Why I married you. . .Well, you were honest and hardworking and kind. You were polite and patient, and more mature than any guy I'd dated before. And when we were together, you listened i n a way that made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. You made me feel complete, and spending time with you just seemed right." - Jane

"Gifts of the heart can't be claimed by anyone except the giver." - Noah

“Yet I have come to believe that while the past is unchangeable, our perceptions of is are malleable...”  - Noah

"It's funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It's like they think it won't change ever." - Noah

"Roses are tough. When they're young, they sort of sprout up like a tree, but you have to keep cutting them back so they form right." - Noah

. . . one of Wilson's thought-provoking lines. ^^

"I know I can't change the past, but I can change the future. I can change,too. And I will." - Noah

"Experience had taught me that even the most precious memories fade with the passage of time." - Wilson

"Some things, after all, have never changed." - Wilson

"Simple things - I might imagine a smudge of dirt on your check as you work in the garden, or how you look as you lean on the counter, running a hand through your hair while you visit on the phone. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are here, in everything I am, in everything I've ever done, and looking back, I know that I should have told you how much you've always meant to me." - Wilson

"From this point on, I will become the man I always should have been. I'll become more romantic husband, and make the most of the years we have left together. And in each precious moment, my hope is that I'll do or say something that lets you know that I could never have cherished another as much as I've always cherished you."  - Wilson

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." - Jane

Jane: My WEDDING?

Wilson: The WEDDING I should have given you a long time ago.

Joseph: Hey,Pop?

Wilson: Yes?

Joseph: I just want you to know that I'm honored that you asked me your BEST MAN.

"Yes, I decided, a man can truly change." - Wilson

"The events of the past year have taught me about myself, and a few universal truths. I learned, for instance, that while wounds can be inflicted easily upon by those we love, it's often much more difficult to heal them. Yet the process of healing those wounds provided the richest experience of my life, leading me to believe that while I've often underestimated what I could accomplish in a day, I had underestimated what I could do in a year.  But most of all, I learned that it's possible for two people to fall in love all over again, even when there's been a lifetime of disappointment between them." - Wilson

"Being romantic still doesn't come easily. It's a daily struggle to reinvent myself, and a part of me wonders whether it will always be.'' - Wilson

"I hold on tight to what Noah taught me about love and keeping it alive, and even if I never become a true romantic like Noah, it doesn't mean that I'm ever going to stop trying." - Wilson