That State of Mind Called Happiness

Chase happiness, they said. So we all grow up looking forward to such an intangible idea.  We don't exactly know what happiness looks like ; we just somehow feel it.

When I was a kid, happiness  meant opening a book and finding a corner to lose myself into its pages. Now, it has become the very essence and the very core why I had this blog site.

But you know what they didn't tell us about happiness? It is the thought the we create and own it. We falsely think that there's an ultimate singular form of being happy , but my friend , I'll frankly tell you this,  there is none. What actually makes you happy does not necessarily paint a smile on my face and what makes me jump for joy  might not have the same effect on you.

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I know that it's kind of frustrating on how there can be no ultimate standard of happiness since everyone pursues it, desires it, and thrives for it. And we'd all be all like , "How can we really be happy?" , "Is there a universal formula to achieve it?"

My friend, again there is none.  No one has figured it out and no one will figure it out for you but your own self. And that is the beauty of happiness being relative, because it is you who can create is,  modify it, and make it to how exactly you want it to be. You can own it in such a way that no one can ever take it away from you.

On my younger days, I used to depend my happiness on the people around me. I would hoard all the happiness  I got. I would put it in a glass jar , and I named it my happiness jar , and would hand it over to any person I've known who I believed could keep and nurture it well - or at least I thought. Then my precious glass jar of happiness would always end up breaking or worse yet, missing , and so it left a pang of pain in me and would make me unhappy again. 

It's only to  these days , of which I have embarked my teaching journey in a public school , my married life, and just recently on motherhood of which I came to realize that  I should and must not hand my glass jar of happiness  to anyone ever again ; that i should be the one keeping and holding it, because after all, it is but mine alone. 

It took me a gazillion of feeling before realizing that happiness is just within me. It took me much awful heartbreaks (not the bf-gf relationship that you are thinking of) , severe disappointments , and breaking down moments ; before I learned that happiness should be here in me , buried in the very corner of my soul , and in every inch of my bone. It shall never lie to anyone , but myself. 

Although "the husband" , our beautiful angels Ava and Brea, our families , and friends are a part of my happiness, it dawned on me that they can only be ones inside my glass jar of happiness  and that I have to treasure them as much as I carry the said jar.

So when you're having those days when you'd feel like you're losing your happiness , when you feel like you are missing the happiness  in you , take it back to whoever you handed it to. Take it back for it is all yours. Never ever hand it over again , and guard it with all your might and heart. 

Because , my friend ,  your happiness is yours , and it is just as unique  and as beautiful as you are. No matter how minute or gigantic it may be , no matter what form and shape it may come in , those do not matter. What counts the most is that you have found something that lights up every piece  of your being and fuels up your spirit in this lifetime , and  once again it is your very own. 

Whatever may the universe throw at you , may you always choose to create happiness!

Have a Happy Friday, Everyone!